The Industry Bride & What I Have Learned About Planning A Wedding (so far)
The Industry Bride
Ok, so I said I would keep everyone in the loop of wedding planning, so here we go! I've talked to other 'industry' gals and it seems to be split. You either fall in to one of two categories when you are a bride who works in the wedding industry: What I call...
- "Bride with a capital B" - You know what you want, where you want it, the flowers, the decor, every single vendor and its going to be one top knotch wedding.
- "Bride with a low b" - You really only have two requirements. That it be small and not a lot of fuss.
I am a bride with a low b. The least amount of fuss possible please! I even told Alyssa from Pearl & Dot when I met her back in September while I was choosing my dress that I just don't feel like I have the bride gene in me...and "please no over the top bows or ball gowns. Ease me in!" I never really wanted to get married or even thought it was a major possibility. Sure, I flirted with the idea with past boyfriends (it felt like like 'normal' thing to do) but never took it seriously. I never imaged a big white dress and marriage was out of the question as I had no real context of a true partnership in my life. Man, how things can change!!! I didn't even anticipate becoming a wedding photographer!
I'm grateful to be in this industry. And what I have learnt is that the marriage is really the priority over everything else. The connection. The vows. The people. Everything else is just details. I'm so lucky to have been inspired by so many amazing brides over these past 4 years. Landon and I have seen it all and I'm grateful. It really gave us perspective on choosing what we felt was important to the two of us and to let everything else fall away.
Planning Our Wedding
Planning has been tumultuous for me and deeply emotional.
If I am honest, I don't really enjoy it haha. It's strange how I can love it when I am with my brides but as soon as it involves me, I just don't want to be involved haha. It's so bizarre! I just want the least amount of stress as possible and luckily Landon and his mom have been incredible gracious and helpful in the planning arena to ease my stress levels. I honestly think everyone should hire a wedding planner. It's just so nice to focus on what matters and less about the 'business of weddings' it really sucks the romance out of it lol.
I'm more of an introvert than most people gather upon meeting me. The idea of a ton of people watching me during one of the most intimate moments of my life is incredibly nerve-wrecking. I'm learning to let go of my guilt of not being the capital B bride, I feel like such an outcast, and to embrace who I am during the process. I've had a handful of brides who felt so similar to me during their wedding and I am so grateful I have met them on my journey. They have really paved the road of allowing me to fully embrace my introversion and to focus on what matters most to my heart.
What I have learned (so far) from past brides and being an intentional bride:
- Most brides say they wish they did something smaller after they did something big and I was so relieved to hear that as I always wanted something extremely intimate if not an elopement.
- It's hard when people you really love can't make it, but don't take it personally.
- The guest list is as hard as you think it is but if you sit down and just hash it out, it's totally fine. Most people are totally fine.
- Focus on what you value as a couple! Landon values really great cocktails, food, and being a good host. I value the sacredness of our ceremony and our photos. So we focus a lot of attention on these areas.
- Determine your values early! It allows you to focus on what matters instead of what you think* you need.
- Pinterest doesn't know squat about weddings lol (blog post to come)
- It is YOUR day, so make it whatever you want. Make it your own! Including the timeline. It is yours.
- Delegate and find support if planning a wedding isn't your jam.
- Carve out as much time as possible for you as a couple to enjoy your day fully and together.
- If you ask... you may receive!
- Writing your vows early takes a lot of stress off your shoulders and I am hoping it diffuses the buckets of tears I will cry.
- Stop looking at wedding dresses once you have yours. You will second guess your choice and feel awful about it. lol seriously. OR you end up buying too many dresses lol.
- If you don't care about it, don't spend money on it.
- Get as many details confirmed as early as possible as you will likely be asked a million questions.
- Wedding planner. Genius.